it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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