But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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