So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
