If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
So squirting runs in the family.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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