she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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