Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
