my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
