4 words: hood of his car
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
