Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
