need another drink. this is the easiest way
her vagine was all disorganized.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
