i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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