Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
