How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
