i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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