Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
