I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
