No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
