Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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