No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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