It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i will never coherently bang her
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
