whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Is Oprah even human
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
