wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
