i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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