I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
