i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
