You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
