Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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