The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I take back everything I said about communal showers
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
