Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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