found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
