Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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