I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
