When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
