It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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