The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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