Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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