'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
