remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
