There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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