I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
