so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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