cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
