Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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