I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
