His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
