The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
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