Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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