LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
