Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
