i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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