ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
