We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
