someone threw a dead crab at me
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
