the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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